I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
