How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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