i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
