Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
