I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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