There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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