im drinking this country out of the recession.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
