Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
