Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
