Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
