You really coming over, don't trick.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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