Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
