i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
