i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
