someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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