i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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