I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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