maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
