I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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