I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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