he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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