pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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