he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
be right there i have to get my cape
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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