Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
