sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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