I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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