I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
