what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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