I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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