I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
