wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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