i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
