Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
