we're blogging at a bar
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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