i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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