those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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