I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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