sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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