I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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