We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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