Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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