his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
