My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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