Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize