a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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