spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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