So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
don't judge my taste in strippers
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
