My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
