He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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