Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
