Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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