She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
