using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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