I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
