i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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