went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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