My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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