jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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