with your own penis?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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