And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
