I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
